“I just need to move my footplate, hang on.”

Ugh, it’s stuck, come oooon you piece of… urgh my freaking thumb… who tightened this last? “Who was sitting here last?” Some kind of dwarf-creature who probably couldn’t pull a face. Grrrrrrhaaah! “OK it’s loose, nearly there guys.” Loose, and yet not moving anywhere. What a wonderful insightful design. Thank you Mr. Footplate Ltd. for making my life just that little bit more miserable as it rains horizontally into my face at 06:00. Who needs sleep or a social life when I can spend my mornings trying to move an immoveable piece of equipment whose primary function is moveability? Is that a word? Movea… movementyness? This afternoon’s googling sorted. You motherf… “No I’m not ready yet, sorry it’s stuck.” If I was ready I would say ready. Have I said ready? No, I haven’t said ready. That is the first indication that I am not ready. Glad the education is paying off. I think I’ll design footplates, the ultimate of comfort incorporating a smooth transition between settings. Maybe it could be remote control and the coach could adjust it from the launch to get the perfect profile setup. Or it could adjust automatically when you get into the boat like some kind of mould that fits you perfectly. That would be cool. There might be a market there. Duffplates. I’ll be famous. Why is this bolt so much longer than the other one? Typical pick ’n’ mix of equipment. I bet this seat isn’t even meant for this boat. MOVE you STUPID pile of washer thingys, what the hell is the point in these anyway, why don’t they just make it to fit the damn boat? “I AM holding the middle bit up, it’s just refusing to move.” God I should have eaten that bagel. Just a liiiiittle bit further up, come on, coooome oooon…. “ARGRGHRHHR you piece of f*cking sh*t! NOT THAT FAR! Sorry, now it’s come off the rail on one side.” Is that straight? How many grooves on that side, one two… I literally don’t think this is ever going to…. “Ready.”